Not Her Wedding
by justkillingtime
Summary: It is Meredith and Derek's wedding day and everything is perfect but completely wrong all at the same time. 100th episode themed
1. Chapter 1

_"Let me organize your wedding. Please let me do it. I need something to keep me occupied, something to think about other than surgery and chemo and cancer. Please let me do this."_

That's what Izzie had said to her, she had begged her to let her plan her wedding and she had tried to say no, she'd tried to tell her she didn't want a big white wedding but Izzie kept begging. She kept telling her she had to have a big wedding that a big wedding was every girls dream, and then she'd told her she needed something fun to do, that she was going stir crazy and she needed something to do other than knit more scarves and think about cancer.

She couldn't say no to her, not when she put it like that, so she let her plan the wedding. She let her pick the colours, and the flowers, and even the music. The colours were pink and silver, the flowers lilies, and she was walking down the aisle to something called Cannon in D. Pink wasn't her colour, if she had to pick a colour she would have chosen brown, brown and yellow, she wouldn't have chosen lilies maybe sunflowers, she wasn't sure, she just knew she didn't like lilies. Izzie liked lilies though, she thought they were beautiful, so there were lilies, just like there was pink because Izzie liked pink.

She looked down at the wedding dress she wore, it beautiful but over the top, not her, nothing about this wedding was her, she'd thought maybe if she kept going along with it maybe it would become her but it hadn't. She didn't want this wedding and the truth was neither did Derek. He'd already done the big wedding thing with Addison; he didn't need to do it again. This wasn't her wedding this wedding was Izzie's.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Izzie stuck her head inside the church and looked around, the florists had just left, everything was set up and it was perfect, it looked exactly like she had always imagined. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, there was no one there yet, so she let herself pretend. She closed her eyes and began walking slowly down the aisle and she pretended that this was her wedding, that she was the one getting married today.

She didn't think she would cry, but as soon she started walking the tears began to flow, this was her wedding, this was supposed to be her dream wedding. She took the two steps she needed to reach a pew and she sat down, she rested her head in her hands and tried to make herself stop crying. She wasn't supposed to cry today, she was supposed to be happy but all she could think about was how unfair this was.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Cristina ran her hands down the front of the pink knee length bridesmaid dress, Izzie had her wearing. She knew it was Izzie who wanted the pink, she'd listened to Meredith go on about it a few times, about how Izzie wanted to organise her wedding and she didn't know how to stop her. She'd tried to tell she just needed to say no, that she just had to put her foot down but it was a case of 'easier said than done'. Planning the wedding seemed to make Izzie happy and Meredith didn't want to take that away from her.

Planning the wedding had made Izzie happy but now that the day had arrived, she wasn't happy. She could see that even if no one else could, seeing this wedding happen was tearing her up inside.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Behind her Izzie heard the door to the church open. She looked up and saw Cristina walking towards her. At the sight she tried to take a deep breath and wipe the tears away from her face, she didn't want anyone to see her crying but she couldn't hide it, the mascara she wore had already started running.

"Izzie," Cristina said sitting down beside her. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," She tried to wipe her eyes again but she only managed to smudge the mascara more.

"Really? You look like you've been crying?"

"Yeah," She looked down at her hands and began rubbing at the black streaks. She didn't want to talk about it, this was supposed to be Meredith's day not hers, but the silence kept eating at her. "I was just thinking about this." She waved her hand around the empty church. "It is so beautiful, and I was just thinking." Her voice trailed off and she felt the tears run down her face. "This was supposed to be…" She let her voice trail off again, she wouldn't say it, she wouldn't say what she was thinking.

"Your wedding." Cristina finished her sentence for her. She lifted her head and nodded.

"When I pictured my wedding this was exactly how it looked."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Hearing the words come form Izzie's mouth broke Cristina's heart. She knew that was what was going on and she wanted to kick herself for not stopping it.

"The lilies they were my dads flower. When ever he would fight with my mom, he would give them to her after to say sorry and…"

Cristina listened as Izzie kept explaining everything to her, she kept telling her why she picked everything. It all meant something to her, everything had a reason.

"You can still have that Iz." She told her trying to comfort her.

"No I can't."

"Yes you can." She reached out and placed her hand over Izzie's knee. "You're going to get better, you're going to get your dream wedding."

"You don't know that," Izzie closed her eyes and let out a sigh. "Even if I get better I can't have this anymore, this isn't mine now it's Meredith's."

"Oh Iz," She gave her knee a squeeze. "Why did you do it then?"

"Because I wanted to see it, I wanted to see what it would look like." Izzie opened her eyes and looked around the church. "I never thought it would be this beautiful."

"It is beautiful." Cristina agreed before letting the room drop into silence. For the longest time they both just sat there looking around, thinking about everything. Cristina was trying to work out what to do, how to make things right because at the moment they were anything but right. "Will you be okay here for a bit?" She finally asked. She'd come up with an idea but she didn't want to suggest it until she knew it would work.

"Yeah," Izzie said looking up at her. "I'll be fine."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Cristina walked out the church and headed towards the room Meredith was supposed to be in. She needed to talk to her and find out what she was thinking, find out if she felt the same way.

"Meredith," she said walking into the room. She found her friend sitting on a chair staring at the service book. Izzie had designed them, they were printed on silver paper and had pink ribbon holding them together. "We have to talk, this – " she waved her arm around the room.

"Is wrong." Meredith finished the sentence for her and looked up. "This isn't my wedding, this isn't what I want my wedding to look like." She put the service book down and let out a sigh. "I let Izzie do this because it made her happy, she seemed so excited about it, so I just let her run and I thought it would grow on me. I thought that when the day came that it would be alright, that it wouldn't matter but it does matter because this isn't my wedding it's Izzie's."

Cristina sat down on the chair beside Meredith and picked up the service book. "This is her dream wedding. " She started saying. "Everything about this right down to the table settings is her dream. Mere it is hurting her seeing this happen, to see her dream wedding unfold and it not be hers."

"I know, I've seen the look in her eyes today. She keeps smiling and saying she's okay but I can see it is breaking her."

"Yeah," There was a silence between them for a moment, the same thoughts were going through both their heads. "We've got to do something." Cristina finally said.

"I know," Meredith let out. "Lets go find the men."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex stood in front of the mirror in the room all the guys were getting ready in and tried to fix his tie. It didn't look right though, not matter how many times he tried to tie it he could not get the pink satin thing to sit right.

"Do you need a hand there Karev?" He heard Mark ask from a few feet behind him. He turned around and looked at Mark's tie, he had the pink thing tied perfectly around his neck.

"Yeah thanks," He pulled the tie over his head handed it to Mark. He watched him untie the mess which was his attempted knot and then wrap the tie around his neck and tie a perfect Windsor knot in a matter of seconds.

"Here you go."

"Thanks," He took the tie from Mark's hand and pulled it back over his head. He turned back to the mirror and began pulling the tie into place around his neck. It took him another five minutes to get it right and when he finally turned back to face the other two men in the room they looked like they were about ready to laugh.

"What!" He looked at them with an annoyed expression and sat down in one of the chairs. "I don't wear ties okay."

"It's okay Karev." Mark smiled at him. "You need to chill, you'd think you were the one getting married today."

"Yeah well…" He wasn't the one getting married but it was going to be a big day for him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. "I brought this last night." He said opening the box and showing its contents to Mark and Derek, inside was a small very delicate looking diamond ring. "I'm going to ask Izzie to marry me tonight at the reception. Do you think she'll like it?"

Mark and Derek both stepped closer to inspect the ring. "It's a bit small." Mark said. "I always saw Izzie as the big diamond ring girl."

He should have known Mark would say that. He knew he was right, Izzie would have wanted something bigger, she deserved something bigger. "I can't afford anything bigger." He muttered and he snapped the box shut and shoved it back in his pocket wishing he hadn't shown the ring to them.

Derek glared at Mark and stepped closer to Alex. "Let me have another look at that ring." He asked holding out his hand. Alex looked away from him but he still reached into his pocket and pulled out the box. He placed it in Derek's hand but he didn't say anything.

Derek looked closely at the ring, it was a simple yet elegant arrangement, set in white gold. "The ring is beautiful Alex." He said with a genuine sincerity. "The size doesn't matter. Izzie will love it because it's from you."


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you sure about this?" Cristina asked Meredith as they ran through the passage ways of the church towards the guys room.

"Yes," Meredith replied. "I've never been more sure."

They reached the guys room and knocked on the door. "Is everyone decent?" Cristina yelled before wrapping her hand around the handle and pushing open the door. She stepped inside the room closely followed by Meredith and closed the door behind them.

"Meredith what are you doing here? We're not supposed to see each other until the ceremony." Derek asked looking at her confused.

"I know but we need to talk." Meredith walked towards the men, they all looked very hansom in their black tuxedoes, Derek with his silver tie and Alex and Mark with their pink ties. She took Derek's hand and walked him to the far corner of the room.

"Is this what you want?" She asked him as soon as they were out of ear shot. He looked back at her confused.

"What do you mean? I want to marry you Meredith."

"I know, but is this what you want?" She used her arm to gesture around the room and towards the church. "This church, this wedding, is this what you want?"

"I want you Meredith. You know how I feel about everything else." Derek whispered to her. "We don't need it, it is not necessary. But I thought it's what you wanted?"

"No," She shook her head. "This isn't my dream wedding it is Izzie's and I can't go through with having her dream wedding. It feels so wrong. Would you be disappointed if we went and got married at city hall today instead?"

"No," Derek shook his head. "I would love to do that, but what about all of this?"

Meredith looked away from Derek and towards Alex. "We were thinking of talking to him about that."

Derek nodded and a smile creped across his face. "He brought her a ring last night." He told her, "he wants to marry her, it might work."

Meredith smiled and they walked back towards the other three.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex stood outside the doors leading into the church. With one hand he carefully eased the door open and looked around. Izzie was still in there, sitting alone a few pews from the back. She looked so small and vulnerable there by herself. He closed the door again and turned back to Meredith.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked her again. He wasn't sure, he had more doubt in him than anything else.

"Yes," she nodded at him, go talk to her.

Slowly he eased the door open again and he stepped inside. He was nervous, and even with Meredith's assurance that Izzie would want this, he still couldn't help thinking, it wasn't what he wanted, it wasn't what he planed. He was worried Izzie would think he was doing this out of pity, obligation, or worse fear, it wasn't that though, he was doing it because he loved her and he wanted her to be happy. The door latched behind him and Izzie lifted her head and turn to him. She looked at him for only a moment before she turned and went back to staring forward. That one moment though was enough for him to see she was sad, this which he thought was making her happy seemed to be breaking her.

"Iz," he sat down in the pew beside her and waited for her to look at him. She lifted her head for a moment and he saw the black rings around her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," He could hear the deflated tone in her voice. He lifted his hand and placed it gently on her leg.

"You don't look okay."

"Yeah well," she stopped midsentence and started letting out a long slow breath. "I guess I'm just a bit overwhelmed."

"Is that all?" he knew there was more to it. If he was to believe what Meredith and Cristina had told him there was a lot more to it. He wasn't sure if he should ask her about it or wait for her to tell him.

"Yeah," she let out another sigh and shuffled closer to him, she rested her head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her. For the longest moment they seemed to sit in silence, he was waiting for her to start talking again, he knew if he left it long enough she would start talking and sure enough after a few minutes the words began coming out.

"This was going to be my wedding." She began saying. "I was going to have the white and pink lilies, the pink dresses." He watched her pick up the hem of her dress and begin running it between her fingers. "I wanted this to be my wedding, and now seeing it all put together, it is perfect and it just makes me sad it's not mine. That I'm not going to get this."

"Iz," He said pulling her closer to his side, "you can't say that. You're going to get your wedding."

"No I'm not." She pulled away and really looked at him for the first time. "I'm not going to get my wedding, I'm not going to get any of this."

"Iz," He tried to reach out for her but she seemed to be pulling away from him.

"No Alex, I know what you're going to say. You're going to tell me I'm going to get better, that this will be over soon."

"Iz," he reached out and grabbed her arm, she was starting to lose it on him. "That's the truth, that's what you have to believe."

"You don't know that." He could feel her starting break. "Everyone keeps telling me that, that I have to think positive, keeping looking to the future, and I'm trying but there is a part of me which keeps thinking what if this is it. What if this is the last wedding I see, what if – "

"What if a meteorite falls out the sky and kills us all." He threw the outrageous suggestion out there to break her up, to stop her running thoughts of negativity. It worked; he got the tiniest of smiles out of her.

"That's not going to happen."

"You don't know that." He gave her a smile and pulled her back against his side. She rested her head against his shoulder and sighed. Again they began to sit in silence. Alex slipped his hand into his pocket and ran his fingers along the box; it had reached that point in the conversation where he had to give it to her. "You know I love you don't you." He began. "That I want you to be happy because it makes me happy."

"Yes," She pushed away from him a little and looked him in the eyes. "What are you saying Alex?"

"I want to marry you Iz, I want you to be my wife." He pulled the box out and opened it. "I brought this for you last night. I was going to ask you at the reception. I was going to tell you, I wanted you to plan your own dream wedding now, not someone else's but it seems you've already done that. This is your dream wedding and every woman deserves to have their dream wedding. Will you marry Isobel Stevens? Will you marry me today, in this church, in two hours?"

"Alex," She looked back at him, shock and confusion written all over her face.

"It is all being taken care of, all you have to do is say yes."

"Alex," Izzie stared right at him and tried to work out what to say. All day she had been wishing this wedding was hers, that she was the one getting married, that she would be the one who would get to experience it. But now that Alex was sitting next her telling her it could be hers she didn't know what to say. She wanted all of this to be her wedding but it wasn't supposed to happen like this. Today wasn't supposed to be her wedding. "I can't, what about Meredith and Derek?"

"They're on their way to city hall as we speak." Alex reached out and picked up her hand. He pulled the ring from the box and carefully slipped it onto her finger. "This can all be yours Iz, you just have to say yes." He kissed the back of her hand and she looked away from him, she was starting to cry again but she wasn't sure if it was because she was happy or sad. "I know this isn't quite how you hoped it would be. It isn't quite how I saw it happening either but it can work. You've done such a magnificent job putting it together, it can work."

She ran her fingers along the band of the ring, it wasn't quite what she had imagined her engagement ring to look like but it was still beautiful. And the thought that Alex had gone out and brought it, that he had sat in a jewellery store with some sales woman and picked out a ring made her smile.

"Alex you don't have to do this." She told him. "You don't have to marry me."

"I know," He lifted his hand and gently used it to lift her chin, turn her face so she was looking at him and he wiped away her tears. "I want to. I want to be able to walk into a room with you and tell people you're my wife. I want everyone to know how much I love you. How much we love each other." He paused trying to think what to say next. "I want to marry you Iz but we don't have to do it today. We can wait if you want to but you said before this was how you pictured your wedding, so why not make it yours."

He smiled at her but he wouldn't beg, he didn't want to push her into it, he was doing this because he thought it was what she wanted, if she didn't want it, that was okay with him. He didn't want to push her, just give her the option.

She turned away from him and began looking around the church again. She was still trying to get her head around the idea that it could be hers, that she could have this. She closed her eyes and tried to picture herself as the bride, she liked what she saw.

"Okay," she whispered with her eyes still closed. "Okay lets do this, lets get married." She opened her eyes to see Alex gazing at her. There was a smile on his face and she couldn't help notice how happy he looked.

"Okay," He lent forward and pulled her towards him for a kiss. He kissed her softly and seemed to pull away too soon. "I'll go phone Cristina and tell her it is a yes. We've got a lot to do in the next couple hours."


	3. Chapter 3

Meredith watched Alex disappear inside the church and she turned to Cristina.

"Shall we go?" She said, a huge smile spreading across her face. She was genuinely excited about the idea of getting married at city hall, of walking into the building in her wedding dress and exchanging rings with Derek without all the fuss of the a big ceremony. The big fuss was never what she wanted, the whole entire thing had been Izzie's idea, it had been her pushing for things and telling her how wonderful they would look. They did look beautiful, she wouldn't argue about the beauty of it but it wasn't her. She walked out of the church with Cristina and they both climbed into the back seat of Derek's waiting car. If they were going to pull this off they had to get things moving fast. Their first stop was city hall; the four of them pulled up and piled out the car. They walked inside and about gulped when they saw how long the line was, it was half an hour long at least.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Cristina looked down at her phone and then back up at Meredith. They'd been waiting in line at city hall for almost half an hour and they still hadn't reached the front. There seemed to be a lot of people there with the same idea as them, to get married without all the fuss, in fact compared to everyone else there, they had made a big fuss. Meredith was the only one there with a wedding dress, Derek and Mark the only ones there in tuxedoes and she the only one in a pink or any other bright coloured dress. In fact they were the only group which seemed to resemble a wedding party at all.

"Next," a lady behind the counter called. She looked up and saw Meredith and Derek walking forward hand in hand, they had finally reached the front of the line. She walked with Mark a few steps behind the couple and stood to one side while they talked to the woman behind the counter. Their jobs as maid of honour and best man had been some what reduced with the changed location, they just had to witness the union and nothing more.

She was still standing to one side when she felt her phone start ring; she glanced down at the ID and smiled when she saw it was Alex phoning.

"Hey," she said answering the phone, "How did it go?" She listened as Alex told her what happened and her smile slowly got bigger. "She said yes? It's on, fantastic. Okay." She paused trying to work out what needed to happen next and how they would go about getting it done. "We're still at city hall, we'll probably be here another fifteen twenty minutes."She said letting everything tick over in her head. "I need you to get the service books from our room and take them to the copy shop to get new covers printed, the file for them is on a flash drive, which should be on the table near the books. Leave them at the copy shop, and then drop Izzie off at Brides and Bells, we should be there by then, if we're not, phone and I'll tell you how away we are. Okay?"

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex listened as Cristina began giving him instructions, "Okay," he said acknowledging he'd heard her. "I'll see you in a bit."

He closed his phone and turned to Izzie. "Come on," He said smiling as he stood up "We've got things to do." He held out his hand and pulled her to her feet.

"What are we doing?" She asked smiling back at him.

"I've got to get the service books changed and I think you're getting a dress."

-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex walked into the copy shop, the box of service books under one arm and Izzie's hand in the other. Her mood seemed to have dramatically lifted since she'd agreed to go for the wedding. She looked happy, the light had returned to her eyes and she was excited about getting her dress.

He let out a sigh of relief when he saw the girl behind the counter didn't look busy.

"Hi how can I help you?" She greeted them both when they reached the counter.

He placed the box of service books down between them and he began explaining what he needed done. He told her what had happened, that they needed new covers printed for the books and that the wedding was going to be in a couple hours.

The girl looked back at him like he was a little crazy and he thought for a moment she wasn't going to be able to help him but then she smiled and started to get things moving. She loaded the file for the service books onto a computer and handed him the keyboard to make the changes. He deleted the name Derek Shepard from the front cover and after a seconds thought replaced it with Alexander Karev, he didn't use his full name often, but whenever he'd done anything official in his life, whenever he'd done something he was proud of he'd always been Alexander. He deleted Meredith Grey and replaced it with Isobel Stevens, then he turned to the inside page to make the changes to the wedding party.

"Iz, who is your maid of honour?" He asked turning around to look at her. She was standing a few feet behind him, flipping through one of the books. "Iz." She seemed to be so engrossed in the book she didn't hear him at first. "Iz," he said again, getting her attention on the third go. "Who is the maid of honour?"

"Umm" Izzie looked down at the book she was holding and the names which were currently printed in it. Cristina had been Meredith's maid of honour, while she had simply been a bridesmaid. It had been an obvious choice to do it that way, Meredith and Cristina were tight to each other like glue but it wasn't that clear cut for her. They were both her friends but neither one of them stuck to her more than the other. "Cristina." She finally said deciding to keep it the way it had been, in the last few months Cristina had proven to her that she really was a good friend and she'd really been there and helped.

"Okay." Again Alex replace Meredith's name with Izzie's and Izzie's name with Meredith's. The women were fixed now he just had to work out what he wanted.

He deleted Derek's name and replaced it with his own, that was easy but he hadn't thought about who'd be his best man. He deleted the name Mark Sloan, there was no way Mark was going to be his best man and he deleted his own name where it said groomsman. "Iz who should I pick?" He asked looking over his shoulder at her.

She put the book down and walked the two steps she needed to reach him. She lent over his shoulder and stared at the computer screen. "Derek," she said after a moment, "Derek and George."

"Okay," He typed in Derek's name as best man and George's as groomsman, and then after a seconds thought deleted George's name from the usher position and replaced it with Mark's. He had a little chuckle to himself about that move, it would be interesting to see Mark's reaction when he realised he'd been demoted from best man to usher. "Does that look okay?" He turned around again and looked at Izzie.

"It looks good." She smiled at him.

The service books seemed to be ready so he got the attention of the copy girl. She took hold of the computer and he watched her change half a dozen print settings and then she brought over the first copy. He held the page up and carefully examined what he'd written, he was looking for spelling errors but it seemed okay. He showed it to Izzie and she thought it looked beautiful, she picked up one of the service books and swapped over the covers.

"It's perfect," she whispered and she gave him a smile.

"Okay," He was talking to the copy girl now. "I'll need one hundred of these." He smiled. "I'll be back in about fifteen minutes."

The girl nodded at him and smiled, she told him she'd see him soon and then he took Izzie's hand and they walked out the shop.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Izzie sat quietly in the car as they drove to the bridal shop. She was trying to savour the moment, commit everything to memory. She'd been unsure at first about this decision to get married today but now she was just running with it, she was letting herself get excited and finding it increasingly difficult to wipe the smile off her face.

They pulled up into the parking lot and she smiled when she saw everyone else was already there. George standing around in a suit, Derek and Mark in tuxedoes identical to Alex's, Cristina in a pink dress which matched her own and Meredith in her wedding dress.

"Wow," she whispered under her breath, taking in the beauty of the sight, and she climbed out the car.

Cristina turned to Meredith and they both smiled when they saw Izzie walking towards them, her demeanour had changed, she looked happy again and they both knew they'd made the right call, they were doing to right thing.

" Meredith you look beautiful." Izzie said the moment she reached them. She lent in and gave her a hug. "Are you sure this is okay?" she asked.

"Positive," Meredith smiled back and she lifted her hand to show her the wedding band she now wore alongside her engagement ring. "This was always your wedding Iz, even if none of us realised it."

"Yeah," Izzie let out a sigh and glanced over at Alex and Cristina. They were standing to one side talking in hushed voices. "What are you guys doing?" She called over to them.

"Plotting." Cristina called back, and a few seconds later they were both walking back to the group. "We've got just over an hour to get this all done." Cristina began saying. "You guys need to go to the tux shop and get your colours soughed. Then put the service books together. We're going to get a dress. We'll meet you back at the church for the ceremony."

Everyone stared back at Cristina, wondering who put her in charge but what she said made sense and it seemed to be the best plan.

"Okay," Derek finally said, "lets get moving."

Izzie stepped towards Alex and gave him a kiss when she pulled away they both had coy little smiles on their faces. "The next time we see each other we're going to be getting married." She smiled.

"I know." Alex smiled back. "Have fun with the dresses."

The four men began walking back to the cars while the three women turned and walked inside the dress shop.

-8-8-8-8-8-

Izzie stepped inside the dress shop and looked around. The last time she had been there was with Meredith and Cristina to get Meredith's wedding dress. That time she'd spent hours pulling dresses off the rack for Meredith to try on. She'd had fun doing it she loved looking at the dresses but there had been a pain in her heart whenever she'd seen one she liked, whenever she'd seen one she knew would have looked perfect on her. There had been one dress in particular which had caught her eye, she'd spent ten minutes gazing at it when she thought no one was looking but her friends had seen her and even tried to talk her into putting it on. She'd flat out refused to do that, she didn't want to try on wedding dresses, instead she'd tried on bridesmaid dresses with Cristina, they'd tried on matching dresses until they'd found one which looked great on both of them. This time was different though, this time the dress was for her.

"Hi, can I help you?" The sales woman greeted them.

"Yes," Izzie let out the breath she didn't even realise she was holding. "I need a dress."

"Okay." The woman smiled at her. "What type of dress were you looking for?"

"A wedding dress."

"Okay," The woman began looking her up and down, trying to size her up. "There is a dress up the back, it just came in which I think will look perfect on you."

The woman disappeared into the back of the store and the three women began flipping through the racks of dresses. Neither one of them said what they were looking for but they were all looking for the same thing, the dress Izzie had had her eye on. It had been on one of the clearance racks though so the chance of it still being there was slim. They were still looking when the woman came out carry the dress she thought would be perfect.

"Wow," they all said simultaneously as she held up the dress from them. It was a ballgown dress covered entirely in an intricate design of lace and beads and had a full skirt and a long train. Izzie stepped forward and ran her fingers along it, it was beautiful and the woman urged her to try it on. She took it from the woman's hand and carried it to a change room. She hung the dress on a hanger and unzipped the back of it, she pulled the dress open so it was ready to put and then she reached for the zip on her current dress. She quickly pulled the zip down and as soon as the dress started to fall she turned away from the mirror. She didn't want to see her half naked reflection, just for today, for the rest of today she wanted to pretend she wasn't sick, she wanted to believe that this wedding was because Alex loved her and nothing more. She was certain that was the case but pretending she was healthy, that they had a long life together to look forward to made it easier, she couldn't pretend though if she saw her reflection, if she had to stand there and stare at the red still raw looking scar which now ran up her abdomen. Quickly she stepped inside the wedding dress and pulled it up over her body. The dress fitted her perfectly, and when she stepped outside the change room the first word she heard was, wow.

Meredith and Cristina heard the sound of the curtain swish when Izzie stepped out of the change room. They both turned away from the racks of dresses and towards her. "Wow," they both whispered under their breath, the dress was stunning, even with the zip only half up, the dress was stunning. "You look beautiful," Meredith told her and she walked over and finished doing up the zip.

"Really?" Izzie's eyes seemed to light up as she asked the question but then her hand moved down to the price tag. "I can't," she whispered before Meredith even had a chance to reply, the tag read $5000 and there was no way she could afford it. Meredith pulled the tag from Izzie's hand and simply nodded, she knew exactly what she was saying and she wouldn't argue with her. She reached for the zip and began pulling it down just as Cristina called out.

"I found it." In her hand Cristina held up the dress Izzie had been eyeing off last time they were there. This dress was completely different to the one she was wearing, it had almost as much bead work but it was cut in a mermaid line, instead of the ball gown she currently had on. Izzie's face seemed to light up again when she saw it, the dress she had on was beautiful but the one Cristina was holding was the one she wanted, it was the one she had her heart set on. "Try it on." Cristina coaxed placing the dress in her hands.

She didn't need to be encouraged to try the dress on. She quickly slipped her body out the ball gown and stepped into the new dress. She let Meredith and Cristina help pull it on her and she stood there while they tied up the back. It seemed to take them ten minutes to get the dress done up properly, it wasn't a zip but ribbon which held the back together. When it was finally ready though, when it was time for her to look in the mirror there was no doubt this was her dress.

"It's perfect," she whispered, knowing Alex would love her in the dress as much as she loved herself in it. The dress extenuated the curves she still had left on her body, she'd lost some of them with her treatment, with the weight she'd lost, but she still had curves and this dress showed off every one of them. The dress made her look good and it made her feel good.

While Izzie was still smiling at herself in the mirror, Cristina walked over to the racks of bridesmaid dresses; she pulled a pink dress identical to her own off the rack and checked the size, it was right for Meredith, she placed it on the counter, then she selected a medium length veil and placed it on the counter as well and she waited for the sale lady to come.

"We'll take that dress and these." She said and she gave the lady her credit card. The transaction went through before Meredith and Izzie noticed what she was doing.


	4. Chapter 4

At the tux shop, Alex swapped his black vest and pink tie for silver ones, Derek swapped his silver clothing for pink and black. Mark swapped his pink tie for a green one after phoning Lexie and finding out what colour dress she had, and George got him self fitted for a whole tux. The whole thing took less than fifteen minutes to do and when they were done Alex took off back to the copy shop.

As soon as he walked inside the building the girl behind the counter smiled at him.

"Hey," she said greeting him, and when he reached the counter he realised she'd done more than just print the new covers. Each cover had been folded in half and a couple dozen of them had been placed on the books. He watched her place the remaining covers and the books she'd fixed into a bag and place it on top of the box. She carried the box over to the counter and placed it in front of him. "I didn't have any other jobs on so I started putting your books together." She told him with a smile.

"Thank you so much, you didn't have to do that." He smiled at her as he picked up one of the books. Izzie had done a good job with them in the first place. They looked really good. "How much do I own you?"

He listened as the girl scanned several barcodes off a massive board and then typed a few numbers into the computer. "$33.85" she said after a minute.

"Is that all?" He quickly pulled two twenties out his wallet and handed them to her. "Keep the change." He said and he picked up the box and headed out the door. The rest of the men were waiting for him back at the church ready to put together the rest of the books.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Slowly Izzie sat down on one of the cushioned chairs in the dress shop, as comfortable and perfect that her dress was, sitting still involved a bit of thought. She lent back in the chair and closed her eyes, the excitement of the last couple hours was starting to take its toll on her, she was beginning to feel exhausted and she didn't want to be tired when she was getting married. She thought maybe if she could just close her eyes for a few minutes it would help, it would make her feel better.

"Do you think Izzie is okay?" Meredith asked Cristina when she stepped out the change room. She was no longer wearing her wedding dress but a pink bridesmaid dress.

"Yeah she's fine." Cristina said looking over at Izzie slumped in the chair. "I think the excitement is just getting to her. She can sleep until our ride gets here."

"Ride?" Meredith asked, lifting her eye brows slightly.

"Yes ride, we've got someone picking us up in about ten minutes."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex watched George slip the final cover on the service books and smiled. They were done and everything seemed to be coming together just right. They had plenty of time before the women were due back, plenty of time to think, relax and absorb what was about it happen.

In a few hours he would be a married man, it wasn't something he'd woken up that morning expecting to be, he'd planed on being an engaged man but not married. It was going fast, faster than he ever expected it would. In some ways that was good, there was no time to think, no time to back out, not that he was planning to back out, but in other ways it wasn't. There was no time to enjoy the engagement, no time to really think about the idea of getting married. It was just going to happen.

"How are you feeling Alex?" The question came from Derek's mouth. "Are you ready for this?"

"Yeah," He let a smile spread across his face. "I'm ready, I just still can't believe it is really happening."

"Yeah that feeling never really goes away, not even when you have months to get ready."

"Yeah?" Alex looked at Derek, waiting for him so say more.

"It is that excited, nervous, anticipation feeling, marriage doesn't change anything but at the same time it'll change everything. You'll never look at Izzie quite the same way again, there will always be that something extra connecting you."

"Really?" Alex wasn't quite sure if he should believe what Derek was telling him, the man had been married, twice now, he would know but then he was a contradiction to what he was saying.

"You'll see." Derek smiled, and then he glanced down at his watch. "What time are the ladies supposed to be getting back?"

"Soon I think. Cristina said she'd phone when they were leaving.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Cristina looked out the window of the bridal shop, then glanced over at Izzie asleep in one of the chairs, she checked her phone, and finally looked over at the sales woman. The woman was giving her an annoyed looked, she didn't really appreciate that they were using her shop as a waiting area and she really didn't like that Izzie had fallen asleep in one of the chairs. She didn't really care, the woman could get as annoyed as she wanted, they'd already given her their money and in a few minutes they'd be out of there.

"How much longer do you plan on staying here?" The woman asked walking over to Cristina.

"I don't maybe an hour." The reply was meant to annoy the woman more but it lost its affect when their ride proceeded to pull up. "Or not." Cristina smiled at the woman and walked over to Izzie.

"Izzie, our ride is here you need to get up." She said gently shaking her shoulder.

"Alex," The word came from Izzie's mouth in a half startled half expectant tone.

"I'm afraid not."

"Oh it's you?" A frown seemed to spread across Izzie's face then she looked down at what she was wearing. Her eyes seemed to go wide again. "That wasn't a dream?" She asked.

"Nope," Cristina smiled at her and she held out her hand. "Alex is waiting for you at the church. We got to go."

Izzie took Cristina's hand and pulled herself up. For a few seconds after she stood she felt dizzy but it quickly cleared and she started walking. She walked to the door of the bridal shop and as she opened it her mouth dropped.

Cristina had said ride but she wasn't expecting what she got. It wasn't just a ride she had but a limousine and it was huge, much bigger than it needed to be for the three of them. "Oh my god," she whispered under her breath and a tiny squeal escaped from her mouth. She turned to Cristina and wrapped her arms around her. The embrace lasted only a second before Cristina pushed her way.

"Iz, no hugging." She smiled.

For a moment Izzie looked disappointed then she turned to Meredith hugged her instead. "Thank you." She smiled and her eyes started to water up.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex paced around the room the men had been all but locked in for the last twenty minutes. He was started to get anxious, he'd been psyching himself up for this and he was sick of waiting. He wanted to get the ceremony over and done with so he could be with Izzie again. He wanted to hold her in his arms and feel her again.

"Karev can you stop pacing?" Mark called out from one of the chairs. "You're making me giddy."

He stopped moving for a moment and ran his hand through his hair. Then he reached for his phone and checked that it was still working, Cristina should have phoned him by now. He began thinking maybe he should phone her, find out what was going on, maybe there had been some kind of problem. He was about to start dialling the number when there was a knock in the door.

"Hello guy can I come in?" The voice belonged to Lexie and slowly she began opening the door.

"Come in." Mark called, and she stepped into the room and closed the door.

"There are a lot of people outside; they want to know if they can go sit down." She started saying. "I don't know what to tell them."

Alex and Derek both glanced down at their watches, everything was running a bit late."Here," Derek stood and walked over to the box of service books; he picked the box up and handed it to Mark. "Go tell everyone they can sit down and start handing these out to people."

"What?" Mark looked back at him confused. "Why me?"

"Because you're the usher, see." Derek opened one of the books and pointed to where Mark's name was printed. "Go usher."

Slowly Mark stood and started walking to the door, when he reached Lexie he stopped and gave her a kiss before asking Derek. "What am I supposed to tell everyone? They're going to wonder why these books don't say Derek Shepard and Meredith Grey."

"Just tell them there has been a change in plans." Derek replied just as Alex's phone started ringing.

Alex walked to the corner of the room to take the call, and a moment later he walked back smiling. "They're on their way." He smiled. "Lets get moving."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

"Izzie you need to stop crying." Meredith said as she gently started dabbing a tissue beneath Izzie's eyes. "You're mascara is going to start running again and you don't want to be walking down the aisle with black streaks running down your face, do you?"

"No, okay, hang on, just give me a minute." Izzie said and she slid just enough down the seat to be out of arms reach. She took a deep breath and she tried to clam herself down, she tried to compose herself. She wasn't crying because she was sad, she was crying because she was just over come with emotion, she was happy and she was excited and all her body wanted to do for it was cry.

"Okay," She used a tissue to wipe at her own eyes and cringed when she saw the black streaks coming off on the paper.

They'd been riding around in the limo for ten minutes now. The church was only 5 minutes away so they weren't going straight there, they were just driving around and now they'd stopped somewhere. They didn't know where, they hadn't looked outside, where wasn't really important. They were enjoying the limo and what was inside of it, a fruit platter and a massive make up chest. The fruit was there because Cristina said they needed to eat, that the last thing they wanted was to see Izzie pass out at the alter because she hadn't eaten anything all day, and the make up was there because there was no other place for them to fix it up.

"Alright, I think I'm okay," Izzie said and she wiped the last of the tears from her eyes. She slipped some grapes into her mouth and slid down the seat back to Meredith. She smiled with her cheeks full of food, and Meredith and Cristina started laughing.

"Oh, Iz you look a mess." Meredith started laughing. "I think we're going to start again."

It took ten minutes for Meredith to remove what was left of Izzie's eye makeup and reapply something which looked as stunning as the rest of her. She had a pearly coloured eye shadow with just the tiniest hint of pink to match her flowers. This time they also made a point to use the waterproof stuff, Izzie's tears seemed to have dried up for now but they were certain they'd be back. When it was finally done they told the driver to take them to the church and they ate the rest of the fruit with tooth picks. They all laughed a lot in the car, everyone was just beginning to allow themselves to relax enough to have a lot of fun, soon it would all be over.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Mark glanced down at his watch and then over at Lexie, they were the last two people outside the church, everyone else was seated and their job was to wait outside for the bride to arrive. Their entrance was the cue that everything was about to start.

"They're late." He muttered.

"It's a wedding, they're meant to be late." Lexie informed him. "They'll be here soon." And then almost on cue the limo pulled into the parking lot. "See I told you."

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

There was a slight jerky motion as the limo pulled to a stop at the front of the church. The motion was enough to make the three women inside go quiet for a moment.

"We're here." Izzie said in words barely louder than a whisper.

"I know." Meredith smiled back at her, and she slid across the seat to where they'd left the veil, she picked it up and slid back to Izzie. "Lets add the final touch." Carefully she placed the head piece in Izzie's hair. "You look beautiful." She told her just as the driver came around to open the door.

Cristina was the first to step out of the car followed by Meredith and finally Izzie.

"Wow Stevens you scrub up well." Mark greeted them before Lexie slapped him across the arm.

Izzie's cheeks burned a little before she told Mark to shut up, and she turned her attention to Lexie. The other woman had just walked inside and was coming out again carry the bouquets of flowers. She handed one to each of the women, told Izzie she looked stunning, and then took Mark's hand and dragged him inside.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Alex stood at the alter of the church nervously rocking on the balls of his feet, he was ready for this ceremony, he was ready for it to be over and done with, ready for everyone to stop staring at him. He could feel every pair of eyes in the church was on him, it wasn't a feeling he was used to or particularly liked but until Izzie walked through those doors he was the most interesting person there. Everyone in the church was talking in hushed whispers, he couldn't hear what they were saying but sometimes words would catch his ears.

"Do you think he's doing this because she's dying?" he'd heard someone say. If he'd been able to work out who exactly had said that he would have gone up and told them exactly why he was doing this, and it wasn't because she was dying, she wasn't going to die. That's what he kept telling himself over and over, that's what he chose to believe; until she was lying on her death bed she wasn't dying she was just sick. He couldn't deny though that her being sick had something to do with this wedding, if Izzie didn't think somewhere in the back of her mind that she might die, she would never have planned the wedding, she wouldn't have tried to give Meredith her dream wedding, simply so she could see it.

At the back of the church the doors opened and Mark and Lexie began walking towards the front.

"Are you ready?" Derek lent over and whispered to him.

"You have no idea." Alex whispered back. He watched Mark and Lexie take their seats in the second row and he gave the kid running the churches sound system a nod. Within seconds the entire church hushed into silence and the doors opened again. Meredith was the first to step in, she was wearing the pink knee length bridesmaid dress and in her hands she held a small bouquet of pink and white lilies. She had a big smile on her face and her eyes seemed to be fixed on Derek. Derek was beaming, his smile was huge and his eyes had a dreamy look about them, this was their moment, they'd given them their wedding but this was there moment.

Next was Cristina, she wore a dress and carried a bouquet identical to Meredith's. She played the roll of maid of honour well, she had a smile on her face but there was a hint of something else there too.

For Alex it seemed to take forever for Meredith and Cristina to walk down the aisle, they looked nice in their dresses but all he wanted to see was Izzie. Finally Cristina took her place beside the alter and the music seemed to pick up a bit, he looked to the back of the church and Izzie stepped into the doorway.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Stepping into the doorway at her wedding was a moment Izzie had been waiting her whole life for, it had so many expectations attached to it and despite the rushed circumstance of the occasion, the moment lived up to and exceeded her expectations. Like one unit everyone turned to look at her but her eyes were fixed one hundred percent on Alex. She watched as a grin spread across his face and his eyes seemed to light up. She smiled back and slowly began walking towards him. With every step the joy and emotion she felt intensified, she found herself taking deep breaths and telling herself not to rush, to savour the moment, the experience, it was too perfect and the tears started trickling down her face. They ran down her cheeks and when she looked back she saw them running down his cheeks too.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

He had never seen her look so beautiful, so radiant, she was glowing and he couldn't help but grin like a fool. She made the perfect bride, his bride, soon she would be his and he would be hers, they would belong to each other and together would be one. The thought made him grin wider and as Izzie walked towards him he saw the tears start running down her face. He thought she looked so happy and the next thing he knew tears were running down his too. He never thought he would cry because he was happy, he'd never done it before but he didn't care, he didn't try to stop.

Finally Izzie reached him, he took two steps down to meet her and he took her hand and walked her up the steps. They took their positions in front of the priest and the ceremony began. For Alex most of the ceremony was just noise, he didn't understand most of it and didn't care about a lot of it. There was a lot of church stuff being said, things which Izzie had picked from somewhere, it wasn't really his style, but that didn't matter this was her dream wedding not his, as long as he had her he could listen to some noise for a while, he could hold onto her hand and listen until it was his turn to speak.

Finally it was time to say the vows, he turned to Izzie and took both her hands in his. "Repeat after me." The priest instructed, "I Alexander take you Isobel to be my wife."

"I Alexander take you Isobel to be my wife." He paused for a moment and then decided he didn't want to wait for the priest, he knew what he was meant to say, "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer," as he said the words he watched Izzie's face light up more, he didn't think she could look any happier but every time he looked at her she seemed to be radiating more, "in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward." He left the last words out intentionally, and looked up at the priest to show he was done, if death should come it wouldn't part them, they would always be one.

Izzie knew what Alex was saying by leaving off the final four words of the vows, the sentiment was nice and it made her feel all warm inside but she couldn't do the same. She was a traditionalist and as one, she knew there was a reason for every word, and she needed to promise every one of them.

"I, Isobel, take you Alexander," Saying his name like that put a coy little smile on her face, she'd never called him that before but there was something royal sounding to it. "to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death parts us."

She had to tell him that with death came separation; she didn't want him to be forever joined to her, if it came down to that he had to know it was okay. Alex gave her an understanding nod, he seemed to get what she was saying and that made her smile, the ceremony was almost over. She stood there waiting for the priest to announce the exchanging of the rings.

"And now for the exchanging of the rings." Alex heard the words come from the priests mouth and he about froze. He'd forgotten about the rings, he didn't have any rings, he hadn't got any rings. "Who has the rings?" The priest asked and he gulped, he looked at Izzie and was about to tell her he was sorry, that he didn't have them but then Derek pulled his hand from his pocket and handed the priest two white gold wedding bands. Alex let out a sigh of relief, he didn't know where they had come from but he was grateful they were there.

He was given the smaller of the bands and taking Izzie's hand in his own he gently pushed the ring on while saying. "This ring I give to you as a token of my love and devotion to you. I pledge to you all that I am and all that I will ever be as your husband. With this ring, I gladly marry you and join my life to yours." Izzie smiled at him, it wasn't exactly what he was supposed to say but it conveyed the sentiment he wanted.

She took his hand in hers and slowly began repeating what Alex had just told her. It was perfect what he'd said, and it just made her love him more.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-

With the rings on their fingers the ceremony was almost over. Alex gripped Izzie's hand tightly in his own and eagerly awaited the moment he would get to lift the veil from her face, the moment he would get to pull her completely to him and kiss her.

"By the power vested in me by God and the state of Washington I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Alex turned to Izzie and smiled, he moved his hands to the base of the veil and slowly started lifting it. He had it half way up and then a thought occurred to him. He took a step even closer to her and winked, she looked back at him and he saw the spark in her eyes, and he lifted the veil over his own head. He stepped under the veil and pulled her towards him before she had a chance to protest. He placed his hands on either side of her face and he kissed her with a passion neither one of them had felt before. When they finally pulled away Izzie looked back at him a little shocked.

"It is just the two of us." He whispered to her, and in their little canopy of trill it really felt like that. She gave him a coy little smile and before he could pull the veil off her properly she pulled him towards her, they kissed again, this time completely oblivious to the round of applause and cheers erupting from the guests.


End file.
